二十五: Future

So, my dream career at this point is in counseling.  Doesn't matter if it's for children, troubled adults, etc. As long as I am able to help people.  Here's a conversation I had with my friend.  I want an honest opinion: would I be good at it?


我 (on FB): Wow.. This really just has been the rockiest week I've had ever since moving to Utah.. Ran too fast and tripped, scraped my knee a bit. ahhhhh.. Only thing to do is pick up and keep traveling the path then.

他: I'm not liking this because you got hurt. I'm liking this because I commend your optimism :)

我：nah man, I'm not too hurt. Don't worry :) Just a bit scratched up. hehe Things don't just happen. There's always something to look forward to

他：Again, I commend the optimism :)

我：haha optimism? That's just another word for denial. This is called dealing with life.

他：Well, you're "denial" is what's pushing you forward. My "acceptance" of life is best described in my status. Compared to yours, it's complete pessissimism.
Don't get me wrong I'm not a complete pessissmist. I just look at life in this distorted (yet somewhat true) view that I'm able to find some light within it and help others :)

我：

No way, nothing can force me down a path but myself. If you rely on optimism or "acceptance" to try to push you forward, youre only ignoring wounds that need attention. Things in life are use it or lose it. Everyone needs other people to⋯⋯ help them get up after falls, or they might lose those other people. In the same way, only you can decide to use your own legs or risk losing them and relying solely on other people to make your descisions. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh Martin, but take more pride in yourself too man. I'm glad your still here for me and you're always willing to help others, but you wouldn't be as much help without legs, ok? I know you see some of the light now, so quit squinting so you can see all of it!

二十四: Thinking

Sometimes I really think I overthink life.  ahh  It's like this: no matter what, the worst possible situation will run through my head; and even though my mind knows that it's probably not happening, my soul goes "NOOOOOO  :o"  and it affects everything else going on in my head..  I guess I can think rationally really well; I just tend to side with emotions more  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh   haha   Well if things do turn out that way all I can really say is "life goes on" right?

許多魚在大海。 可我真喜歡那魚了。 在這的時候， 我只能說“哦，生命繼續舉動”。 只一個問題是那是難説如果我依舊喜歡她..

二十三: New Things

I just bare pulled an all nighter doing homework.  Didn't even have time to finish all of it actually.. but English is harder to get a high grade in so I chose that one.. Anyways, the Great Gatsby. Amazing book.  I'll admit that I probably wouldn't have caught half the stuff if I wasn't reading notes and guides along with it, but everything about the characters and story is so detailed and refined, the story is extremely interesting..

Other new stuff:
-It's 2011
-My Chinese is actually getting better
-My work ethic, I noticed, has dropped considerably this year but I'm making good progress to getting back to how it was last year  :P
-她知道了    haha  :P  =]
-And while I am still epically sucking in academics this school year, I am still learning a lot more about the other important things in life and no matter I end up for college [although of course I would still prefer a UC] I refuse to regret anything.

Things to do:
-Look to the brighter side.
-Don't ignore the darker side.
-Work on my other New Year resolutions.  ^__^